How Barracks Ought To Be


~ Clyde Collins ~ 


     Mondays can be rough.  One particular Monday slammed Pvt. 2 Donald Duty up against the wall and slapped him silly, punched him in the Adam's apple and stepped on his shoes.  Duty snuck out of the lab a whole minute early at the end of the day and headed out for the NCO/EM Club.

     "Hi, Big D," said Ivory, the girl behind the bar.  "The usual?"

     Duty nodded.  The sight of Ivory mellowed him out immediately.  That's the kind of person she was.  They exchanged casual banter while Duty sipped his brew.  There was nobody else in the place except for the manager who was busy filling the cooler.  Duty appreciated the peace and quiet.

     "I would have gone straight home but I've had a hard day and the barracks drives me nuts," said Duty.

     "How's that?" said Ivory.

     The private did not want to whine.  He could handle it.  There was really no problem.  Just solutions.  So he said, "You know how the barracks ought to be?"

     "How's that?" said Ivory.

     "Let me tell you," said Duty.  "First of all they ought to level the barracks with bulldozers and give us single soldiers our own little individual cottages.  There should be room for a garden behind each cottage.  And I'd like the chaplain to visit me every morning to keep me right."

     "Really?" squinted Ivory.

     "I also think everybody should be forced to read books," continued Duty.  "And harp lessons ought to be mandatory on Saturday afternoons.  That way television, hard rock, and soul music could be phased out."

     "Do you want another beer?" moaned Ivory.

     "No thanks.  I don't want to get carried away," said Duty.  No longer feeling low down and grumpy, he picked up his garrison cap and hopped off the bar stool.  "It was nice talkin' to you, Ivory.  See you later."

     Do you live in the barracks?  How would you like the barracks to be?  Write a letter to the editor.  And sign it.  Your name will be withheld upon written request.  Address it to CADUCEAN, Tripler Army Medical Center, Honolulu, Hawaii 96859, or use the Message Center.  Or simply drop it by the office on B-1 Level next door to Patient Baggage.

     Meanwhile dutifully support the barracks sergeant.  He needs your cooperation.  It may benefit your life-style.



photo above:

Schofield Barracks, Oahu, HI, 1920's


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Marian The Librarian